Week 14 Notes:

• The Rapids made a beautiful comeback to beat Metrostars 3-2 on Wednesday. Once again a kid we’ve never heard of comes out of nowhere to score a brace of goals, too. This kid Cila was sharp. The looks on the faces of both Tim Hankinson and Bob Bradley when Cila hit the winner in the 89th minute were just priceless. Hankinson looking like Ed McMahon had just handed him the Publishers Clearinghouse check, and Bob Bradley looking grim as cold death, and somewhat like Locutus of Borg.

• I know this is nit-picky, but shouldn’t a soccer broadcaster who is a former player know that the term is “offside” not “offsides”?

• My Dream scenario for any DC/MET game is that Dema hacks Guevara, who turns around and tries to scratch Dema’s eyes out, and they both get red cards. I don’t want anybody to be hurt, mind you, I just want to see them both be tossed. Is that asking too much?

• Congratulations to Troy Perkins. Last week I complained that Troy has to work a part time job to make ends meet. This week he was signed to a regular MLS contract making at least the league minimum, which while it may not be Shaq money, is at least a living wage. Now, I don’t want to come right out and say for sure that my comments tipped the scales in Troy’s favor, I just want to put the evidence out there and let you the reader decide.

• Having to hear “YOU JUST GOT BURNED JONNY WALKER!” from an announcer is a bit much, in my view. It was obnoxious and inappropriate. If you’re not going to add anything to the game, at least don’t detract from the joy of viewing.

• While we’re on the topic of soccer announcers, Sean Wheelock and Kenn Tomasch called the Milwaukee/Seattle A-League game for Fox Sports World last Friday and they were wonderful. Knowledgeable and under control, they let the game do the entertaining. It was a pleasure to listen to them. The ESPN crew need to take notes.

• Henry Ring was victimized by a flukish goal for the second time in as many weeks. Jeff Cunningham hit a shot that was blocked/deflected and proceeded to make a big looping arc right over Henry’s head for Columbus’s second goal. He may have been partially at fault last week for clearing better, but this week his was just the victim of dumb luck. He was down 2-0 at halftime after playing really well; the guy needs a luck transfusion.

• Great quote from Chicago’s Evan Whitfield at halftime, when asked about the rough play between him and the duo of Edson Buddle and Jeff Cunningham: “Yeah, those guys, they don’t like to be touched. I don’t know if it’s some kind of phobia or what.”

• Matt Reis pushed an Assistant Referee last week and only got a $500 fine. That’s inexcusable on the part of the MLS front office. You touch a ref, you get suspended; that’s the way it has to be. Otherwise, every ref out there is Earl Hebner.

• Jason Kreis is ejected in the 45th minute of the Burn/Wizards game. From the TV coverage it looked like he was going in for a tackle and pushed Kerry Zavagnin, who went down hurt. The referee clearly missed the play, waited several minutes, listened to the Wiz players whining, then went to talk to the AR, who was even further away from the play, then finally decides Jason should get a red. Dave Dir got it right when called this a “lobbying call”.

• Davey Arnaud gets the hat trick against Dallas. Normally I’d be overjoyed at any player getting their first professional 3-goal game. But he did against Dallas. In a 5-1 blowout. I don’t want to talk about it.

• Felix Brillant, Clint Dempsey, and Pat Noonan are a scary trio to have to contain. If Twellman gets healthy and Brillant quits dribbling about two seconds earlier when he’s in the box, New England are gonna be tough to beat.

• If ever there was a goal that epitomizes the phrase “against the run of play”, it was Delgado’s strike against New England in the 75th minute. By the way, did anyone catch the reason why Delgado had the name “Perez” on the back of his shirt?

• If every MLS game was like the first half of the LA/SJ game, there would be far less of an attendance problem. The second half, however, was typical of the feminine side of soccer that so many Americans hate. Carlos Ruiz faking injury and getting Mullan thrown out, Moreno making an early bid for an Oscar nomination, both sides swinging their handbags and acting faux-tough, lots of yapping, slapping and eye scratching. Landon Donavan and Cobi Jones facing off like they were in a dinner theater production of “West Side Story”. Typical LA/SJ stuff. Pathetic.