STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS: COLUMBUS V FC DALLAS

Like you, I was transfixed by the compelling battle between Roger Federer and some guy named Robby Ginepri on ESPN2 this afternoon. Not since Tony Trabert beat Ken Rosewall back in '55 at the US Open have I seen such a display of tennis. Such was the intoxicating specter of this clash of titans that I nearly forgot that the kickoff of the Dallas-Columbus match was being delayed.


Yeah, right.


Anyway, I can't remember the last time we needed a win so badly to get us back on track. Well, okay, the entire last season does come to mind. But I digress.


The boys are wearing the hoops even though they're on the road. Drew Moor gets another start, Mina gets a start, and a still toe-sore EJ starts on the bench. I think we'll see him before it's all over, however.


Crew stadium has all the atmosphere of a well-attended Sunday League game. I don't mean that kindly. This franchise is hurting, in my view. Coaching changes, inconsistent play, sparse crowds. They need help. I hope they don't get it today, from us. They have some talent, and I think Robert Warzycha will be a good professional coach, kind of a poor man's Peter Nowak. The Crew will be okay, but probably not for a year or two.


20 minutes in, and this game has all the intensity of an off-season training session. Kevin Stott just blew the whistle to clear the field due to lightning. A storm may be more exciting than the game. This is the second week in a row that a lightning storm has delayed a Columbus Crew match. If you believe in signs from above, what does this mean? Personally I'm reminded of Badluck Schleprock, the cartoon character who was followed by a dark cloud wherever he went. But that's just me. I'm sure a "glass half full" Crew fan could find a positive spin here, maybe a lightning reference to represent the power and energy of a Crew resurgence in the second half of a season.


But I doubt it.


Hmm.... so, read any good books lately?


How about those Yankees, huh?


Sure has been hot, lately, hasn't it?


Okay, I'm out of small talk. I'm going to take a break until the weather cooperates. Please take this break in the Stream to go to the fridge and grab the cold beverage of your choice.














Huh? Oh, we're back. Hi.


Last week when the Crew and Metrostars had a weather delay, Columbus came out after the break and gave up two goals, blowing a 1-0 lead. Here's hoping.


All frivolity aside, I have to hand it to MLS, the staff at Giants Stadium (last week) and Crew Stadium (this week), as well as the referees in both games. You don't want to screw around with lightning, and the correct call was made on both occasions to get the players off the field. Especially at Crew Stadium, where, unless I'm sorely mistaken (and really, what are the chances of that?), the stands are comprised entirely of metal benches. Very intelligent and professional game day management. Kudos all around.


The Crew have come out of the break with a little spring in their step, presumably having learned their lesson last week. Hopefully it's a bit cooler now too; that should help both sides pick up the pace a bit. A little intensity wouldn't kill this match, no matter which side it comes from.


Still mostly all Crew as we head to the half. Szetela ripped a shot that just barely missed the left corner. That would've been a pretty nice first professional goal. Even the fans in Columbus are showing more energy. Maybe it doesn't rain all that much in C-town or something, but it sure has had a reborative effect all around.


Extra points to me for using the word 'reborative' correctly in a sentence.


Jolley just tried to score Maradona-esque "mano de Dios" goal. All he did in the end was kick Jonny Walker in the solarplexus. I don't think there really is such a body part as a 'solarplexus', but I like the way it sounds. Gives the piece an old-school wrasslin' column kind of feel.


Whether that's a good thing or not, I leave to you the reader.


Ruiz is bitten by the offside bug again, this time calling back a goal. I love el Pescadito, but the man's never been offside in his life, if you ask him.


By the way, for those of you new to FC Dallas, "el Pescadito" is Spanish for "The Pescadito". We're all about educating the masses.


Halftime. No score. A draw today would be like a loss, in my opinion. Though it goes against my longstanding tradition of rank pessimism, I'm predicting a big second half for the boys today, and a win by two goals, whether it be 2-0 or 11-9. Which would be cool, you have to admit.


Huh. During ESPN2's halftime piece on Eddie Johnson, they showed a clip from the opening night at Pizza Hut Park, and all of the sudden I saw myself drumming with The Inferno. That was kinda freaky. I'm sure my Mother would be so proud. If my Mother ever watched soccer. Which she doesn't.


Two observations from seeing myself on television. First, whoever said the camera adds five pounds was off by a factor of two. Or perhaps three. Second, hoops aren't really the perfect fashion choice for those of us who are, uh, shall we say, particularly well-fed. Time to head back to the gym, big guy.


But that's neither here nor there. Game on for the second half.


No intensity from us coming out of the gate, here.


You know, the word that described FC Dallas at the beginning of the season was 'dangerous'. We were hot, intense, always a threat to score, and not likely to be taken advantage of. Lately, not so much. So far today, the weather has been more dangerous than FC Dallas. Something is missing lately, and I think it's that ineffable quality I like to call fuego. Fire. We lack fire. It happens to all teams now and then I suppose, but it's getting critical at this point. It's distressing, and I don't really understand it.


Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? Bueller?


EJ comes in for Aaron Pitchkolan in the 66th minute. We need some magic. Some Dipsy Selelowane, if you will. If we can't get it from EJ, it's just not coming, is it?


Slight signs of life. EJ brings it up the middle, gets it to Ronnie on the left, who rifles a shot that is nicely saved by Jonny Walker. If Walker was getting paid by the hour, he'd have just now clocked in.


Arturo Alvarez in for Mina with 12 minutes left.


Columbus goal in the 81st. Clarence Goodson gets schooled in the left corner by the wily old Chris Henderson. Henderson brings it up the baseline like John Starks at The Garden and jams it across the goalmouth to Cornell Glen, who backheels it nicely off Chris Gbandi's shin and in the net. One-nil.


Criminy. This is ugly. This is uglier than a great big plate full of chicken-fried ugly smothered in ugly sauce with a side order of ugly with ugly pie for dessert.


And Eddie Johnson is clearly limping, just to rob the afternoon of anything even remotely encouraging whatsoever.


Two great saves by Jonny Walker in injury time. Of course. What'd you expect today?


Full time. The wheels have officially come off for the boys.


I got nothing.


See you next week for Los Goats Del Norte at the Hut.