Because I’m a soccer geek par excellence, and because I have no life to speak of, I spend time doing stuff like looking through the All Time MLS Player Register and coming up with lists like this. Therefore, without further Adu (yeah, sorry), I give you my

“MLS All-Time All-Star Name Team”


Most Common Surname: Rodriguez (5)

Runners-up: Alvarez, Moore, Thomas (4). Clark, Gomez, Henderson, Hernandez, Johnson, Jones, Lewis, Torres, Williams, Wilson (3).

Only Player Good Enough To Be Known By One Name: Preki

Players Known By One Name Nonetheless: Cate, Guido, Marquinho, Welton, Zico.

Most Euphonious (tie): Ubusuku Abukusumo, Dipsy Selolwane

Best First Name (tie): Doctor (Khumalo), Thor (Lee)

Surnames Matching A Character On MASH: Klinger (Fausto and Martin), Pierce (Matt)

Funniest Name: David Nakhid

Funniest Name When Translated Into English: Little Joe Cow (Joselito Vaca)

Only surname to conquer Europe: Napoleon (Matt)

Surname With Least Intuitive Pronunciation: Nhleko pronounced KLEK O (Tony)