STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS: CHIVAS V FC DALLAS

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS: Chivas v FC Dallas

This is some serious old school Stream of Consciousness this week. I’m without a computer tonight, as I’ve lent out my laptop to a friend for a business trip (his laptop, I kid you not, was eaten by his dog). So I’m writing with pen and legal pad, and will have to either go to Kinko’s or find a loaner to word process this thing and then send it on to Buzz.

I feel soooo 1990.

The secondary challenge, of course, will be reading my own handwriting in order to transcribe. You would think a public school teacher would have legible handwriting; you’d be wrong though, if you thought that. My own fifth grade teacher once told me she couldn’t tell the difference between the six weeks I had to write left handed due to a football injury, and my regular penmanship. She was blunt, but she had a point. Just for the record, Mrs. Moran, you were a mean teacher and I never liked you.

So anyway.

Bobby Rhine at right forward? I didn’t see this coming, as he’s been groomed for a defensive spot since pre-season, up to and including last week’s training. I don’t mind, however, he’s fast, gives good service, and can shoot. I’ve always been a Bobby fan; good on him. I hope he scores.

I kinda like the grey road unis. Very understated. Classy. Simpler is better when it comes to soccer uniforms. Any of you who remember the first year of MLS know exactly what I’m saying here. Those uniforms were hideous. They scared small children. The surplus replicas from those days have been sold to prisons to be worn in solitary confinement by the worst offenders, as punishment. Cruel and unusual? You betcha.

Carlos Ruiz is taking heaps of verbal abuse from the Chivas crowd at the Home Depot Center. Cretins. WHY CAN’T THEY LEAVE THAT POOR MAN ALONE?

Ronnie, Ruiz and Eddie are really starting to develop an understanding, a rhythm; they’re not firing on all cylinders yet, but you can tell it’s coming along nicely, especially compared to opening night at the Cotton Bowl (which, by the way, wasn’t all that bad in the first place).

Every time Christian Miles mentions Ronnie O’Brien’s name, he affects an Irish accent. Christian, buddy, it’s just not working. Stop it. I know the temptation to is overwhelming, and if I was in your place, I’m sure I’d be tempted too. But you sound like a drunken Welshman with a speech impediment. Just say no.

David Wagenfuhr is doing pretty solid work as an overlapping defender. He’s gotten some good crosses in, and is causing Chivas some trouble. Reminds me of Paul Broome (which I mean as a compliment). I loved watching Broome streak down the left side and attack. I don’t think he’s getting much PT in Los Angeles. I’m don’t know why.

Guzan isn’t a bad goalkeeper for Chivas. He’s pretty confident for a rookie, especially one who left school after his sophomore year. Dallas are peppering in crosses like crazy and he seems to have command of the area. What they’re going to do when Zuniga gets healthy, I don’t know.

This is a pretty thin crowd, by the way. Loud, but thin. Where are the masses of Mexican- Americans? I’m guessing they’re at home, watching on the tube in their Club America shirts, hoping Chivas get their heads handed to them by El Pescadito. But that’s just a guess.

Chivas have a great slogan by the way: “Adios Soccer, El Futbol Esta Aqui”. Sweet.

It looked for all the world like the first half had no goals in it. But Ronnie O just scored a goal that cannot be described in English. So let me just say:

GOL – LAZ – O

Golazo, golazo, gollllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaazoooooooooooooooo.

Left side of the goal, at least 35 yards out, Ronnie lets loose; a gorgeous curling shot that hits a perfect upper 90 to Guzan’s right. No chance. No keeper in the world gets that shot. Sublime. 99% of the players on the face of the earth have no business even taking that shot. This guy is a special player; I can’t even describe how lucky we are to have him around.

Of course, what happens three minutes later? Chivas tie the game (insert naughty words of your own choosing). Actually a very nice header by Thiago. I didn’t see who got beat, but whoever it was mistimed their jump just by a fraction of a second, which was enough to let it get to Thiago, or Thiba, or whatever he has on the back of his shirt this week. Pick a name and go with it, man.

The second half has been mostly midfield possession play, with the good guys getting the best of it. I’d go into more detail, but man, I’m hurtin’. This writing with pen and paper is for the bridsu. No wait, for the BIRDS. Man I gotta take some remedial penmanship. This is embrqddinbg embarrassing.

HAND CRAMP!!

Okay, all better. Beer: is there anything it can’t do?

Oh my. The shameless homers calling the game for the LA station just had the gall, the TEMERITY, to accuse my man Ruiz of taking a dive in the 85th minute. Carlos Ruiz, taking a dive? Have these slandering scoundrels no shame? I may very well have to write a strongly worded letter about th . . .

Oh . . . hold the phone. Replay coming up.

Well, um, now that I’ve seen it in slow-mo, perhaps Mr. Ruiz did go to ground just a tiny bit easier than was strictly necessitated by the laws of physics. But he WAS fouled. Let’s make no mistake there. What are ya gonna do, though? The kid’s a showman, I tell ya, a showman; he’s giving the people their money’s worth.

Yeah. That’s it.

Anyway, he was in fact fouled, by Ryan Suarez, who, after fouling him, proceeded to get absolutely clocked by Guzan who was coming out to cut the angle. Ryan isn’t moving, and he’s face down on the turf. This is kinda scary.

CR converts the PK, and the good guys are ahead, but I’ll be able to take more joy in it when I hear something about Suarez (note: I learned later he regained consciousness shortly being after taken off the field and was taken to the hospital for observation).

Eddie adds one more goal in injury time, and all the sudden FC Dallas has seven points out nine possible in the first three games, and are leading the West. This is pretty much a dream start. But, having said that, let me add just three words:

Knock.

On.

Wood.

However, for now, my friends, let’s enjoy the party while the music’s still playing; know what I mean?

See you next week.