STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS: WIZARDS v FC DALLAS

Before I can even come up with a witty introduction paragraph, the Boys are down 1-nil. Sasha Victorine heads in a corner kick. Scott Garlick got a hand to it but not enough to keep it out. I HATE IT when we’re behind before I can even get a witty introduction paragraph written.

Although this week it may be just as well, as I’m not feeling particularly witty. It has something to do with there only being three weeks of school left. For us teachers, time begins to slow to a crawl during this stretch. We get that desperate, “I’m not going to make it” kinda vibe going, and very little in life seems funny. After the 26th of this month, I’ll be the funniest cat alive. Until then, well . . . not so much.

That and the antidepressants aren’t working very well. But I digress.

Speaking of depressing, we’re unable to control the ball against the most defensive minded team in MLS. And, we just had a 2-on-1 break, and Eddie could neither get a shot or a cross off.

DIPSY SELOLWANE! I take back all the negativity. Bobby Rhine just made a perfect cross to Eddie, who nailed the header from six yards out. Bobby was so far forward he made the throw-in not far from the end line, got it right back, and made the cross. If the best defense is a good offense, then I’m very comfortable with Bobby in the back.

Now the Kansas City I know and love is emerging. Why they waited for Dallas to tie the game before they fell back into their shell, I don’t know. But it’s okay with me.

We’re knocking it around nicely right now, and Bobby’s still getting involved in the attack. You go, boy.

I just saw the Inferno Road Crew. Great shot of you guys throwing confetti after Eddie’s goal. I notice MudPoet is sans horns tonight. What’s the story, Travis?

Carlos just misses in the 39th. He was quite upset with himself. I wish I could read lips. Well, I kinda can, at least when it comes to professional-athlete-cussin’ lip-reading. Mostly because it’s a very limited vocabulary, and athletes tend to enunciate very nicely when they scream obscenities. But I never learned it in Spanish.

Just before the half, Scott Garlick saves a sure goal from Josh Wolff, who blew by someone, but I’ll be dag-nabbed if I can see numbers on these newfangled hoop shirts. If I had Hi Definition television, this would not be an issue. But if my Aunt had a mustache, she’d be my Uncle. Neither scenario is likely to happen anytime soon.



Rhine is causing all kinds of trouble for KC with his runs forward. They don’t seem to know what to do with him. He had another nice cross right before the halftime whistle.

So we’re all even going into the second half. Kansas City got the early goal, and got some good chances on the counter, but we still looked more dangerous, once we got going. We’re not a fast-starting team, however. We’re like an old Chevy pickup on a cold winter morning; gotta get the engine running for a good ten minutes or so before she’ll get up and go.

Apparently, this holds true for the second half as well, because Josh Wolff almost scored less than 30 seconds after the restart. Kansas City, oddly enough, came out guns-a-blazin’, as if they had noticed the same thing. Hmmmm.

Ah crap. Klein goes down in the box and KC gets the PK call. Seemed kinda soft to me, but nonetheless, Wolff buries the spot kick and we’re back to being down by a goal. Credit Wolff for taking a really fast throw in to release Klein. He took it so swiftly that it barely slowed down what was already a fast KC counter attack. Smart play by a guy who’s really getting his game back in form.

I’m going to channel the thoughts of El Jefe right now, and say SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP! Less than a minute after going up 2-1, Klein scores.

This was an inexcusable defensive lapse. Three guys, THREE GUYS standing around watching Burciaga’s 40-yard ball land right in front of goal. Vanney had his hands out like he was shielding an invisible player so Garlick could collect it, while Klein just runs right by him and unwraps it like a Christmas present it from eight yards out. That was not the defending of a professional soccer club. Wiz 3, FCD 1 in the 53rd minute.

Now the Wizards smell blood and are going for a fourth goal. When you get the Wizards to NOT drop back and protect a two goal lead, you’ve got defensive issues.

Finally, in around the 58th, we are starting to get some offense going. Problem is, Bo Oshoniyi is on top of his game and has robbed us twice in the span of about three minutes. A hard shot by Ronnie and a nicely taken header by Wagenfuhr both should have gone in, but for the fact that Bo knows goalkeeping.

And now a third save, that should go on Oshoniyi’s bubblegum card, if indeed he has one. Classic diving catch on Ronnie’s outside-of-the boot shot from 18 yards out. Bo has spent a lot of years in this league as a backup, after starting briefly for the Crew way back in ’96. He’s making the most of this opportunity and make no mistake about it. He’s actually one of my favorite non-Dallas players, but frankly, he’s killin’ me tonight.

Young Alvarez comes on for Carey Talley in the 68th.

Josh Wolff is just cutting up the Dallas D like they were the Sunday coupon page. He just made a 40 yard run right down the gut and got off a shot. Simo even tried to foul him along the way, but only fell down. When Simo can’t foul a guy off a run, it ain’t our night.

20 minutes left. Drinking has commenced.

Ronnie throws us a life line with a nice flicked-on headed goal in the 76th minute. Again it was Bobby Rhine with the service into the box. He’s getting more done offensively than he did when he played offense. 3-2, and hope springs eternal.

Gut check time. We’ve got the momentum going, and a tie would feel like a win after what I’ve seen tonight.

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! That’s the kind of goal he was brought here to score! Beats three guys in the box, left footed shot across Bo’s body. 3-3.

That goal was made by Ronnie hustling back to track down Zavagnin at mid-field, getting him to cough up the ball, and then making a strong run right back to the KC end and getting the ball to Pescadito’s feet. That’s heart. That’s Ronnie.

Oh my. Preki comes into the game with six minutes left. It’s his first action since breaking his leg nearly two years ago. If this was ANY OTHER game but the Dallas game, I’d be rooting like a madman for the Great Man to get a winner for the Wizards.

But right now, it’d break my heart. Though I’d still, after a couple days to get over the pain, feel really really happy for him. One of the greats this league has ever seen, and he’s older than ME, for cryin’ out loud. The man’s going to be 42 in June, and he’s got every Dallas fan in the country scared to death right now.

Three minutes stoppage time. But before I watch it, I’m going to uncharacteristically pause the Tivo, get a Budweiser, and light a smoke. Yes, I’m a weak-hearted man, when it comes to these things. But I’m comfortable with it, OK?

Alright, here we go.

Oh! Ruiz just misses. Great long run by Mulrooney to set up the shot.

Arnaud gets fouled by Wags in Preki-land. I don’t think there was a chance on earth that he wasn’t taking this free kick. Fortunately, he makes a cross rather than a shot, and it comes to naught. Whew.

Full time. I don’t often say this, but that was a GREAT draw for the Football Club. Great effort, great heart, great finishing. And to be honest, I, shamefully, didn’t see it happening. Oh me of little faith.

Wow. See you next week for the EarthQlash game in San Jose.