My latest Stream of Consciousness. Brought to you, as always, by Buzz and all the good folks at 3rd Degree.

Week 18 Notes

• After Steve Jolley was subbed out of the game against DC last week, the word was that he’d tweaked his back while doing his Kreis-like back flip goal celebration. The Dallas folks wouldn’t really say one way or the other, but Coach Colin Clarke subsequently banned any further goal celebrations that involve leaving the ground and doing any sort of gymnastic maneuver. Perhaps a simple non-aerial, slowly performed forward somersault might pass muster, but what would be the attraction? For my part, I’ll be happy if the Dallas players have plenty opportunities to break Clarke’s rule, whether they actually do or not.

• Edson Buddle. His finishing is getting more composed and more clinical as the season goes on. Over/under on when a BigSoccer post decries Bruce Arena for not giving him a cap: August 3^rd.

• I’ve been watching Tony Meola play soccer for over a decade now, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen him let a shot on goal pass by without taking the opportunity to scream at his teammates. I’m not criticizing him; it’s as much a part of his game as, say, Sammy Sosa’s little homerun hop-step. What I’m wondering is, does he ever run out of things to say and just yell random syllables? Think of how many shots he’s faced. That’s a lot of dialogue. Does he have a writing staff? Is he a gifted ad-libber? Does he scribble crib notes on his gloves? How does he do it?

• John Wolyniec is the hardest working man in MLS. He’s James Brown in cleats. He’s Ted Eck, but with better finishing. He’s Pete Rose, without the gambling. OK, I’m metaphored out. If ‘metaphored’ is a word. Somebody help me; add a metaphor for Woly.

• Fair’s fair. I criticize Amado Guevara in this space a lot. But when it comes time to score, he’s the man. His free kick against Meola was exquisite. You don’t often beat Tony to the point where he doesn’t even get to move toward the shot. The guy is good. If he’d ever cowboy up and quit his divin’ ways, he’d be perfect.

• Leonard Griffin got his cleats up so high on Antonio De La Torre that he left stripes on his back. Up above the numbers on his Jersey. “Easy Leonard. Go easy, man.”

• I guess it worked, because they were blanking Chicago without him, but how in the world does John Spencer not start for Colorado? Injury is the only reason I can think of. Not that Chungy, Peguero, and Henderson didn’t have things in hand, but still. Both Colorado goals in the 2-0 win were crackers. Peguero’s header bounced about six yards from goal and went roof. Impossible to stop. Chung’s goal was a left-footed rocket; Henry Ring had no chance. Break up the Rapids!

• That pretty much does it for the first half of the season. I sure am looking forward to seeing Real Madrid take on the MLS All-Stars Saturday.

• WHAT???

Week 17 Notes:

• There’s no sense in me commenting on the COL/CMB game when Dr. Chuck has already said it all:

NO BALLS AT ALL
NO BALLS AT ALL
WE PLAY IN A LEAGUE THAT'S GOT NO BALLS AT ALL

That's what I'd be singing if I was at Mile High today.

Three things define this match:

• The seeming willingness of Hankinson to accept a draw from the get-go. I mean, Colorado didn't have a single spell where they played a consistent attacking soccer. This was Columbus' game.
• Kyle Martino and Jeff Cunningham running smack into one another with a substantial attack on. I mean, Kyle's got the ball and Jeff tackles him and takes the ball. What the blazes was up with that?
• Very simply: Maisonneuve for Martino, 80th minute. Greg Andrulis might as well have run up the white flag and said "Hey, we're closing it down, thanks for a good game!"

This is why people hate soccer, folks. This game was UNSPEAKABLE. No player or coach on either team should get paid.

Do I really need to say anything more?

• Metros hadn’t beaten Chicago in their last 10 games. Ouch.
  

• Henry Ring was back in goal for Chicago, thus restoring my precarious sense of order in the Universe.
  

• Eddie Gaven has defensive “issues”. I say this because of the difficulty he had on Chris Armas’s goal in the first half. He didn’t look nearly as composed as he does when he’s on the other side of the field. But, as is the norm in soccer, nobody will care as long as he’s scoring. If I were a Metros fan, I wouldn’t.
  

• Speaking of Metros fans, they were in fine voice Saturday evening. You could hear the chants and drums loudly and constantly. It really added to the atmosphere.
  

• Kansas City, on the other hand, has a front office that insists on adding lots of canned music and sound effects to the match. Oy. I rank that kind of thing right up there with white soccer shoes as one of the top aesthetic blights on the game.
  

• John Wolyniec. All this guy does is score winners. If Columbus had any sense, they’d insist on this guy in exchange for Szetela. Since they’re not going to get Gaven, and they’re not going to get Magee, I think Woly would fit the bill. Maybe with a young prospect or a high draft pick thrown in.
  

• I wish there were a way for both teams to lose the same game. That would, for me, be the perfect result of a KC/LA matchup.
  

• Watching the second half of the LA/KC game was entertaining enough to make up for having watched the first. Davy Arnaud is becoming a monster. His goal scoring tear continues. Jack Jewsbury had a cracker of a goal from distance. LA looked beat, and then came up with goals from Sasha Victorine and Tyrone Marshall. Marshall’s came in the 95^th minute. Yes, the 95^th. Tony Meola played a terrific game and deserved better from his defense.
  

• Can LA get through one game without the handbags coming out? Yet another un-manly catfight. Any surprise Ruiz was involved? No one got tossed either. Unbelievable. In fact the only one to get anything was Ruiz, who saw yellow. Schadenfreude, anyone?
  

• Brad Davis had the breakout game all Dallas fans have been praying for. Two goals and an assist as FC Dallas gives United a good ol’ fashioned trip to the woodshed. Finally.
  

• Some kid named Adu scored in that game too. Maybe the poor young man will get some publicity now.
  

• The really bad news from MLS this week was that Clint Dempsey is out for up to six weeks with a broken jaw (thanks, CJ Brown). He’s only the most exciting player in the league this season. I feel for New England, but I also feel for anyone who misses an opportunity to watch this kid play.
  

• Kamler and Brillant were lost to injuries this week for New England as well. It’s like watching a M*A*S*H marathon, this team. Every time you turn around, there’s more wounded.
  

• Jose Cancela started living up to his potential as a goal scorer against San Jose. He really needs to step up, especially with Dempsey out, as the Revs make their annual late-season run on the playoffs. Someone on BigSoccer pointed out this week that the Revs are the anti-Sox. They get hot at about the same time the BoSox fade. Heh heh.
  

• The Revs were up 2-0 going into stoppage time, and ended up giving up a draw. It was an extremely chippy match, and the referee came very close to losing control. Landon Donavan should have been ejected for dissent.
  

• It’s not exactly a disaster for the Revs, who could have jumped into 4^th, and thus into the playoff zone, with a win, but it’s gotta be disheartening. It’s not panic time, though. They get a good break to heal up with the All-Star game coming up, Dempsey will be back after Labor Day with six weeks still left in the season, and I still think they’re a threat to make at least the semifinals.

Latest Stream of Consciousness Match Report, over at 3rd Degree.

Week 16 Notes:

• D.J. Countess starts in place of Henry Ring for Chicago. Someone explain this to me. I’m just going to assume, to preserve my own sanity, that Ring has a knock or just needed the rest; maybe a family emergency of some sort. My already tenuous sense of order in the universe demands that it be one of those things.

• Clint Dempsey is going to force Bruce Arena to give him a call up if he keeps up this pace. He’s just doing everything right that a young player can do. Hustle, brains, attitude, finishing. He’s got it all. He’s this year’s Taylor Twellman. Hopefully minus the injuries.

• You can tell New England is emerging from the dark pit of injury despair. Steve Nicol had to leave Felix Brillant, one of this year’s nicest surprises, a creative finisher, on the bench against Chicago. It’s been a while since the Revs could afford to leave talent on the bench.

• Taylor Twellman gets two goals and a red card. Not good for Steve Nicol. Still, you heard it here first: A healthy New England not only makes the playoffs, but gets out of the first round. Really. No, I mean it.

• The only entertaining part of the Galaxy/Rapids match was seeing Ruiz get a yellow card for diving. Not that that’s not enough for me. I was plenty satisfied, despite the fact that the rest of the game not particularly compelling, and ended in a goal-less draw.

• As I have before, I congratulate Stone and Wynalda for not saying “Cha-Ching” when Brian Ching scored on Colorado. Rob Stone did refer to him as “The Big Kahuna”, however, so there is a slight deduction on style points.

• Clint Dempsey’s goal against Columbus on Saturday way harder than it looked. And it didn’t look easy to begin with. Running towards the goal, chests down the long service in, controls it and half-volleys it past Jon Busch. Wow.

• The Emmy nominations came out this week. Ruiz got three.

• Interesting look for the Fire this week with the yellow home jerseys. What’s up with the change in colors though?

Week 15 Notes:

• After being gifted with a 94th minute PK against Dallas Wednesday night, Landon Donavan had the nerve to say, “Someone high up doesn’t want us to win”. Uh-huh. Riiiiight. Did one of those faceless, nameless higher-ups tip Jeff Cassar that you were going left side with your PK attempt? It sure looked like he knew which way you were going.

• A combination of injuries and international callups left San Jose with only three field subs for their game against Metrostars. Obviously, somebody up high didn’t want them to win.

• Jamil Walker should be a star in this league, and probably will be someday. But he needs games like this week where the lineup is decimated to get a chance to play. He is the John Wolyniec of San Jose, except that Woly got his chance and made the most of it, while Jamil needs more chances and needs to do more with the chances he gets.

• The Dallas v Columbus match up reminds me that the first MLS match I ever attended was between those teams. It was at the Cotton Bowl on Cinco de Mayo in 1996. I still have the t-shirt, though it’s in danger of disintegrating each time I wash it these days. The most memorable thing about that game was watching Bo Oshoniyi throw the ball about 70 yards instead of punting it. Bo is still in the league, backing up Tony Meola in Kansas City. I also remember it was hot. Cotton candy was spontaneously combusting, that’s how hot it was.

• Freddy Adu and Alecko Eskandarian both get the start for DC United against Kansas City. I was starting to thing they were the same person; you know, because you never see them together at the same . . . ah never mind.

• Just for the record, Tony Meola still has the goods. He’s only gotten better over the years. He’s in great shape too, even though he’s pushing 40. I’m pushing 40, and I can barely mow the back yard without medical attention.

• Looks like a pretty good crowd in Kansas City. 26,000 or so is what I hear. I guess the relocation stories in the press lit a fire under the Wizards faithful.

• If Carlos Ruiz was ever actually injured, how would we know?

• I’ve said this many times before, but I have to repeat myself today because the problem is becoming epidemic in this league: ENOUGH with the white shoes already! Good heavens they look awful. If you wear those abominations, you had best be scoring 20 goals a year, or making saves that would make Lev Yashin jealous. Otherwise, it’s just wrong. And stupid looking. And annoying.

• CJ Brown planted a vicious elbow in Brian Kamler’s face and didn’t receive so much as a verbal reprimand. Jason Kreis got a straight red for not nearly as blatant or purposeful a shot the week before. Hmmm…. I’ll go ahead and stop with the “someone up high” jokes now. But you know it was there ready to be made. I deserve credit for my restraint, don’t you think?

• I love soccer. That should be clear. I think Americans who dismiss soccer as boring without making an effort to appreciate the sport are nekulturny. That said, this weekends games were boring, with the exception of the Fire/Revs match up Sunday night. I don’t know if it was the heat, injuries, international callups, poorly synchronized biorhythms, bad luck, or the alignment of the planets, but most of the matches were uninspired and slow. The Wednesday night Burn/Quakes game was a good ‘un, but come Saturday the league took an unplanned break from excitement.

• Taylor Twellman is back from injury. Good for the league, GREAT for the Revs. They’ve got to be the best last-place team in the history of soccer. Considering ¾ of their opening day starting team has gone down to injury at one time or another, they’ve done pretty well. And they play entertaining soccer to boot. If I had a second favorite team, it might be the Revs.

• Stevie Ralston, a perennial member of my All-underrated XI, scored a Goal Of They Year candidate off the freekick against Chicago. Check it out on the MLS website.

My Latest Steam of Consciousness Match Report.

Over there at 3rd Degree.

Week 14 Notes:

• The Rapids made a beautiful comeback to beat Metrostars 3-2 on Wednesday. Once again a kid we’ve never heard of comes out of nowhere to score a brace of goals, too. This kid Cila was sharp. The looks on the faces of both Tim Hankinson and Bob Bradley when Cila hit the winner in the 89th minute were just priceless. Hankinson looking like Ed McMahon had just handed him the Publishers Clearinghouse check, and Bob Bradley looking grim as cold death, and somewhat like Locutus of Borg.

• I know this is nit-picky, but shouldn’t a soccer broadcaster who is a former player know that the term is “offside” not “offsides”?

• My Dream scenario for any DC/MET game is that Dema hacks Guevara, who turns around and tries to scratch Dema’s eyes out, and they both get red cards. I don’t want anybody to be hurt, mind you, I just want to see them both be tossed. Is that asking too much?

• Congratulations to Troy Perkins. Last week I complained that Troy has to work a part time job to make ends meet. This week he was signed to a regular MLS contract making at least the league minimum, which while it may not be Shaq money, is at least a living wage. Now, I don’t want to come right out and say for sure that my comments tipped the scales in Troy’s favor, I just want to put the evidence out there and let you the reader decide.

• Having to hear “YOU JUST GOT BURNED JONNY WALKER!” from an announcer is a bit much, in my view. It was obnoxious and inappropriate. If you’re not going to add anything to the game, at least don’t detract from the joy of viewing.

• While we’re on the topic of soccer announcers, Sean Wheelock and Kenn Tomasch called the Milwaukee/Seattle A-League game for Fox Sports World last Friday and they were wonderful. Knowledgeable and under control, they let the game do the entertaining. It was a pleasure to listen to them. The ESPN crew need to take notes.

• Henry Ring was victimized by a flukish goal for the second time in as many weeks. Jeff Cunningham hit a shot that was blocked/deflected and proceeded to make a big looping arc right over Henry’s head for Columbus’s second goal. He may have been partially at fault last week for clearing better, but this week his was just the victim of dumb luck. He was down 2-0 at halftime after playing really well; the guy needs a luck transfusion.

• Great quote from Chicago’s Evan Whitfield at halftime, when asked about the rough play between him and the duo of Edson Buddle and Jeff Cunningham: “Yeah, those guys, they don’t like to be touched. I don’t know if it’s some kind of phobia or what.”

• Matt Reis pushed an Assistant Referee last week and only got a $500 fine. That’s inexcusable on the part of the MLS front office. You touch a ref, you get suspended; that’s the way it has to be. Otherwise, every ref out there is Earl Hebner.

• Jason Kreis is ejected in the 45th minute of the Burn/Wizards game. From the TV coverage it looked like he was going in for a tackle and pushed Kerry Zavagnin, who went down hurt. The referee clearly missed the play, waited several minutes, listened to the Wiz players whining, then went to talk to the AR, who was even further away from the play, then finally decides Jason should get a red. Dave Dir got it right when called this a “lobbying call”.

• Davey Arnaud gets the hat trick against Dallas. Normally I’d be overjoyed at any player getting their first professional 3-goal game. But he did against Dallas. In a 5-1 blowout. I don’t want to talk about it.

• Felix Brillant, Clint Dempsey, and Pat Noonan are a scary trio to have to contain. If Twellman gets healthy and Brillant quits dribbling about two seconds earlier when he’s in the box, New England are gonna be tough to beat.

• If ever there was a goal that epitomizes the phrase “against the run of play”, it was Delgado’s strike against New England in the 75th minute. By the way, did anyone catch the reason why Delgado had the name “Perez” on the back of his shirt?

• If every MLS game was like the first half of the LA/SJ game, there would be far less of an attendance problem. The second half, however, was typical of the feminine side of soccer that so many Americans hate. Carlos Ruiz faking injury and getting Mullan thrown out, Moreno making an early bid for an Oscar nomination, both sides swinging their handbags and acting faux-tough, lots of yapping, slapping and eye scratching. Landon Donavan and Cobi Jones facing off like they were in a dinner theater production of “West Side Story”. Typical LA/SJ stuff. Pathetic.

Another Missed Opportunity

I knew I shoulda put a thousand bucks down on Greece!

I heart the A-League


I thoroughly enjoyed FSW's A-League matchup Friday night. Milwaukee hosted Seattle in a well played, hotly contested game. Very fun to watch. Not only that, the announcing combination of Sean Wheelock and Kenn Tomasch puts every other duo working American soccer these days to shame. If you've never read Kenn's Threesixone soccer magazine, do so now. He's without a doubt the funniest man in American soccer.

Maybe Oklahoma City should get an A-League franchise, now that our MLS dreams have been shattered. Hmm....

Memo to Dr. Chuck: Just on a whim, I sent a resume' to the Silverbacks, after seeing a job opening on their website. If you know anybody in the front office, put in a good word.