WEEK 6 NOTES:

• 7,700 in New England. 6,700 in Big D. That is depressing. You can’t blame the weather, you can’t blame March Madness, you can’t blame Yankees/Red Sox, you can’t blame it being the middle of the week, you can’t blame the Freemasons, the Trilateral Commission, the Illuminati, the damn liberals in Congress, or George Bush or Donald Rumsfeld; you can’t even blame it on the bossa nova. So what exactly is the story here? Even Kansas City drew 11,000; that’s like a sellout for the Wizards.

• I haven’t experienced mixed emotions like this since Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett got divorced. While I’m as happy about the renaissance of Jovan Kirovski as anyone, today’s double against my beloved Burn hurt. Hurt like a toe slammed in the passenger-side door.

• It’ll be interesting to see how Alecko Eskandarian reacts to losing his starting spot to Freddy. Oh, and Freddy, rumor has it you’re wanting to go to Holland because your girlfriend moved back there. Dude, I’m telling you, it’s not worth it. Don’t do it man, I’m begging you. Remember, if you love something, set it free. If it returns, it’s yours forever; if it doesn’t . . . something or other, I can’t really remember what happens if it doesn’t return to you, but, still, you see my point right? Freddy . . . Freddy?

• Chris Klein gets my vote for “most underrated player in MLS”. If I’m Bob Gansler and I’m forced to choose between Klein and Josh Wolff, I’m taking Klein every day of the week. I think he’ll play an important role in WC qualifying for the United States as well. He’s smart, he can finish, he knows how to run off the ball, he can play defense, and he’s tough as nails. Plus, he’s got his own bobblehead now, so he must be good.

• The Crew finally caught a break. Frankie Hejduk was brought down by Brandon Prideaux in the 90th minute at RFK. Ross Paule, of all people, easily converted the PK. So Columbus earn a tie against United, doubling their point total. I’m tempted to say this marks the turning point of the Crew’s season, but I think we all know that’s not true.

• Henry Ring, as it turns out, is human after all, and not a superhumanmutantradioactiveuberhuman. He actually gave up a pair of goals against Kansas City. I didn’t see the first, but the second, by Davy Arnaud, was a shot that no one outside the Justice League could’ve stopped. But still . . . Ring, you SLACKER, your GAA is all the way up to .80! That’s almost an ENTIRE GOAL A GAME!

• Cornell Glen scored the first goal for Metrostars against the Earthquakes. This brings up the question that is on everybody’s lips: Who?

• Dipsy Selolwane scored the tying goal for Chicago at Kansas City. As is traditional, I have no observation here, but mention the fact merely for the visceral thrill brought on by typing the name “Dipsy Selolwane”.

• I pledge my undying gratitude and fealty to the first sportscaster who resists the urge to say “Cha-ching!” when Brian Ching of the Earthquakes scores a goal.

• Little Joe Cow and Fabian Taylor both make cases for “Goal of the Year” tonight. Both beat Pat Onstad from way out; from just about the same spot. Go to MLSnet.com and check out the video. Amazing.

• Vaca and Taylor accounted for only 1/3 of the goals in the first half of the SJ/NY game. You don’t see many six-goal halves in any soccer league, much less MLS. In fact it was only the third 3-3 halftime score in the history of the league. Each one was a cracker, too. Not a soft one in the lot. Jonny Walker and Pat Onstad looked shell shocked. I imagine they were hoping for a cocktail in lieu of Gatorade at halftime.

• Speaking of GotY candidates, Cornell Glen’s second goal (which tied the game at 5-5 in extra time) is a definite candidate as well. We won’t be asking “Who the heck is Cornell Glen?” much longer, clearly.

• When you score five goals in a game, you oughta really chalk up a win. Metrostars and Earthquakes had a crazy 5-5 draw tonight. Lots of fun to watch. Kevin Terry should get a medal for the job he did calling this game. He was really on top of his game tonight.