STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS MATCH REPORT
Kansas City Wizards v Dallas Burn, 22 May 2004

Kansas City are missing Igor Simutenkov and Preki, which is a lot of their offense. Josh Wolff is always dangerous, and Klein can score when necessary. One thing they don’t lack is Defense; they’re leading the league in that department. Oh great, just what we need.

Eric Quill needs to start scoring. Maybe I’ll pick him up for my fantasy team, then bench him. That usually works. Even Troy Dayak scored for San Jose the other week after I benched him. That is something akin to magic right there, boys and girls.

A very slow first five minutes. Rhine sneaked past an offside trap and almost converted a chance, but nothing major. This is a good sign. I’ve noticed this year that when when we start of hot, we cool down way too much as the game goes on.

One of the overlooked subtleties of Scott Garlick’s game is his smart, accurate distribution. No indecision, no panic. Fast when it needs to be fast, but holds things up when necessary. There aren’t any stats for that, but it’s important.

Matt Behncke was lucky not to get read carded for taking down Davy Arnaud in the ninth minute. Had Mr. Okulaja considered Arnaud to be the “last man”, Matt would have been gone.

Tony Nhleko starts out on the bench for the second straight week. Injured? In the doghouse? Hmm…..

Bobby Rhine got a whack on the leg in the 12th minute and had to come out of the game. Not good. He’s clearly in pain, but even worse, from where I’m sitting, is his clear sense of mental distress, like he thinks it is really bad; he keeps covering his face with his hands. Diego Gutierrez came over and shook his hand and gave him some kind words before he was stretchered off. Very classy gesture.

Jason Kreis comes in for Bobby. This will be the most minutes Jason has played since his injury last season.

Chris Gbandi gets a yellow card from Mr. Okulaja for a hard foul on Arnaud. He also gets a few words about the level of his dissent.

In the 25th minute, EJ beats Meola and then is taken down egregiously by Nick Garcia . No call, no PK, no card. Mr. Okulaja clearly was distracted by the extensive crowd noise at Arrowhead Stadium.

Jason’s first try at goal goes just wide. Brad Davis made a beautiful pass, splitting two defenders and keeping Jason onside. We’re starting to look dangerous.

Okay, the “dangerous looking” stretch turned out to be quite brief. With five minutes left in the first half this has become a slow and ponderous affair. This, by the way is only made worse by the godawful organ music on the Arrowhead PA system. What is this, the fifth inning of a Royals v Devil-Rays game? Give me a break.

No score at halftime. We’ve looked the more dangerous side, but in this game, that’s not exactly effusive praise. I’m starting to think Colin Clarke is a good judge of talent, and makes the right lineup choices, but somehow, like his predecessor, is not able to motivate these guys to play with passion. In his defense, though, that kind of attitude is intrinsic, extrinsic motivation usually takes the form of fear, not enthusiasm (see Ferguson, Alex). Also, these men are professionals and shouldn’t have to be motivated to play with fire in their bellies.

Brad Sham just told us that Bobby has a sprained MCL. Not a tear and not an ACL. In one sense this is good news for Bobby, as it means no surgery. No word on how many weeks he’ll be out. I suspect four at minimum. Colin won’t be inclined to rush him back now that Jason is healthy. Here’s hoping he’ll be back and better than ever before long.

Just as I was about to move my fingers to type the words “we’re playing good defense right now”, Phillip Salyer stands around in the six yard box waiting to clear a cross, while Jack Jewsbury hustles around him and just gets enough boot on the ball to dribble it past a bewildered Scott Garlick. 60th minute. Congratulations to Jewsbury, a product of the St. Louis University soccer machine, on his first MLS goal. He should buy Salyer a fruit basket, or a nice bottle of wine.

If I were a newspaper editor I’d be tempted to lead with “Burn Have No Fire”. There are also the obvious Wiz/Burn jokes, but those have been played out since, oh, 1996 or so.

67th: Jolley lets a pass by Arnaud bounce of his shoulder and into the path of Josh Wolff, who neatly fires it past Garlick to make the score 2-0. If I wasn’t already drinking, I’d start drinking at this point.

Pareja comes on for Quill in the73rd minute. It is time for Oscar to take control of this team. My previous comments about lacking fire and passion categorically do not apply to him. This is his team as much as it is Jason’s. Jason is a quiet professional, Pareja is a fire-eater. We need fire-eaters right now. Quill is very close to becoming a breakthrough player in this league, but he’s not there yet.

Kansas City is playing with flair and danger right now, while we’re kinda standing around watching.

Garcia trips Pareja in the 78th minute right outside the box. This is Jason’s area for free kick magic, normally. But he hasn’t quite knocked all the rust off his game yet, and skies it badly.

Tony Nhleko comes in for Gbandi in the 79th minute. Maybe Tony can get out of the doghouse with a couple late goals. Maybe the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy will adopt me and I’ll live happily ever after.

Jose Burciaga is playing really well for Kansas City. I mention this partly because it’s true, partly because of the irony involved in the kid being from Dallas.

Full time. We haven’t beaten Kansas City at Arrowhead this century. Nice.

Un partido muy feo para los Burn, mis amigos. Hasta Luego.