WEEK 8 NOTES

• I should begin accepting payments from MLS players, based on my flawless record in fantasy soccer. It seems that by benching players on my roster, I consistently cause them to immediately start scoring. Recent examples:
o Troy Dayak’s (rare) goal a few weeks ago? I did that.
o Damani Ralph finally getting’ off the shneid in week 4? Yep, me.
o Noonan’s first half strike today? You’re welcome, Pat.
I wouldn’t even charge that much. I don’t want to take all the credit; I just want to be recognized materially for my contribution to their careers.

• Troy Perkins gets the nod in goal for DC, after Nick Rimando’s truly unfortunate (to be as generous as possible, because we like Nicky) game against Los Angeles on Wednesday. Apart from the very obvious “What’s Doug Warren, chopped liver?” this move raises the burning question: Who the heck is Troy Perkins?

• Also getting a start for DC is a young Ghanaian-born American, whose name escapes me right now. A recent immigrant, one wonders how he’ll ever get any recognition, given his young age and lack of movement off the ball. I also hear (through the grapevine of course, one never hears these things in the soccer press) the kid scored Wednesday and graduated high school on Friday. Sounds intriguing. WON’T SOMEONE GIVE THIS LAD SOME COVERAGE?

• Here’s something you don’t see everyday: a bicycle kick that goes down for an assist. Jean-Philippe Peguero, who is the discovery of the season in my book, hit a beauty of a bike for Colorado, but ZiZi Roberts finished it by roofing it from about a yard out.

• The Peguero-to-Roberts goal was made possible by a sublime run by Mark Chung, one of my all-time favorite players. I don’t often second guess Bruce Arena (making me an oddity on BigSoccer), but I’ve always maintained that Chung is international material and should get a lot more caps than he does.

• Somebody needs to clue in the folks at Arrowhead Stadium. Leave the corny organ music next door at Kaufman Stadium. This is not a baseball game, guys, give us a break. Would you play dance music at a funeral? A dirge at a wedding? It’s bad, bad, bad practice and you need to cut it out, m’kay?

• Kudos to the announcing team of Max Bretos and Alan Hopkins on FSW for not screaming “Cha Ching!” when Brian Ching scored for San Jose in first half stoppage time against Los Angeles. Seriously, thank you guys. You give me hope.

• It looks and sounds like a big crowd in San Jose tonight. I imagine it’s mostly because the Galaxy are in town. If you can’t get ‘em to love the team, get ‘em to hate the opposition. Whatever works, guys.

• Here’s another thing you don’t see everyday: Brian Ching’s second goal was neither kicked nor headed, it was “chested”. Hit right off his chest and into the goal from about two feet out. Kinda funny to watch. But, as the old saw goes “It don’t say pretty, it just says goal”.

• Brian Mullan and DeWayne DeRosario both had ‘Goal of the Week’ candidates for San Jose. Go to mlsnet.com and check it out.

• Milestone: First Zimbabwean to score in Major League Soccer. Congratulations to Joseph Ngwenya, the pride of Plumtree (really, he’s from the village of Plumtree) notched a nicely headed goal for Los Angeles against San Jose. It was also the first ever assist at the professional level for Ned Grabavoy.

• Finally, I have to report that MLSnet.com is having technical problems, as they have reported that Columbus beat Chicago 3-1. Let’s get it right ok, guys.

• Wait, what?